Long nights

 

    Here's a picture from one of my favorite days. My family and I went canoeing in Ely Minnesota, the most beautiful place I have ever seen. I needed to be reminded of those good days because lately the nights have been long. So much is going on in my personal life, so much is happening all at once. It's hard to learn how to take care of yourself and take care of personal things while also dealing with school and work. Some weeks you truly are just surviving, and I'm learning to let myself be okay with that. I really wanted to just post highlight pictures from this week and be able to write about how great life is going. But it's truly not great right now, there are definitely great moments, however overall I am just tired. Tired of all the responsibility places on my shoulders for the past couple of weeks. Tired of schoolwork expecting so much from me. Tired of myself expecting so much from me. I hate that that's even a reality of my life right now. But it is and there's nothing I can do about it.

    However throughout this week I have chose to focus on the blessings from this week. There have been so many people that have had my back this week. So many encouraging messages, so much love. I've chosen to focus on the relationships that I have right now. I watched Twilight with my sister and our old foster kid and we laughed and made fun of it the entire time. Usually I would choose to stay home and read but tonight I'm actually going to the midnight madness at Purdue. I'm realizing how many times I would just choose to stay home, I'm a huge homebody. But I'm trying to branch out and do the things I love to do but I'm usually too scared to do. So here's to trying new things and just surviving. It's truly not so bad. 

Away from the stress of life

                                                                            
 I am a little late in writing my blog this week but I think it worked out in the end because now I actually have something to write about. Yesterday my boyfriend and I decided to take a day trip to Turkey Run. With the stress of school and life always looming over me we both thought it was a good idea to just go out for a while and do the things we both love. I used yesterday to photograph, climb, and just breathe. 

    A lot of people have ventured to starved rock, which I definitely enjoy just as much. However with all the rain that has happened lately there were a lot of beautiful waterfalls in Turkey Run. Brian (my boyfriend) and I found ourselves not just walking through nature but truly hiking. We had to cross over many waterfalls while trying not to get our feet wet while also working around the traffic of other people trying to get through. I was exhausted by hour one to say the least. I swear though there has always been something so therapeutic for me when I explore God's beautiful creation. Many of the trees hadn't fully changed colors however it was still so beautiful. I loved being able to sit down and munch on my Cheezits and just breathe. I have come to realize how special and important taking a step back from everything truly is. 

    Even though the main event was going to Turkey Run I think my favorite part from the whole day was going to this restaurant called "Triple XXX" which is right beside Purdue Lafayette. It was extremely unique in the way that everyone sat on bar like tables and if you didn't find a seat you just sat outside. Thankfully we had found a seat inside and were able to order a delicious meal. I of course made a mess out of my barbecue sandwich and demolished all of my fries. Brian had asked me if I would even have room for dessert but of course that was a silly question. Their strawberry milkshake tasted homemade and I could have eaten the super size all by myself. I think my favorite part of it all though was the restaurant having a ton of windows and just being able to watch all of the students go around the town. I absolutely love the city and that campus life and being able to just look outside and watch everything is so fun to me. Oh, and some dad asking me how I like the Purdue campus and me totally pretending that I actually went to the Purdue there. That was fun. All in all it was one of my favorite dates and I am so beyond thankful for days just away from life. 

"Born into brothels"

 

    I picked the documentary "Born into brothels" to watch for this Documentary Project. A specific scene that got to me was where they were on a bus heading for the beach. They don't get to get out of the 'Red Light District" so this was something new for them. During the whole scene while they are in the bus they are singing, dancing, laughing, and even sleeping. Their lives are horrible, something we can't even comprehend, and yet on a trip to the beach they look so carefree. I have a special place in my heart for every single kid on this earth, and just seeing them so happy for even just a short amount of time, warmed my heart. It also hurt my heart though, knowing that happiness comes very rarely in their life. 

 

    One thing that really surprised me was how graphic the documentary was. I had no idea their life might be that horrible. I've seen the movie "Priceless" before, which is about sex trafficking, and thought it would be something like that. However it was completely different and took me by surprise. The sleeping conditions, the way they had to wash their dishes, all the illegal drugs and alcohol that were being sold. I think I was just so surprised because we get so wrapped up in the world that we live in that we forget other people live so horribly. Not everyone can receive an education or have a proper home. It definitely was shocking and eye opening. 

    I still had some questions after viewing the documentary. After the documentary was over it had brief descriptions of where the kids are today but I still am wondering where they are. What are they doing? Some of the girls were able to go school but ended up leaving the school in the end. I just wonder what might have happened to them. I've felt upset over the last few days after watching the documentary. But I've also felt gratitude that my life doesn't look like theirs and never has. 

    I think we should avoid research when we are summarizing the documentary. Because I think we need to summarize the documentary not the history about what the documentary is talking about. The documentary can already be hard to summarize but researching it could make it even harder to summarize. Researching the documentary could switch our focus to things that don't necessarily need to be focused on. 

Life is crazy...and that's okay

     My life is crazy, as I would assume many other people's life is crazy as well. However whenever I would talk to my friends how crazy my life is, I always found myself smiling as I said it. Yeah, my life is crazy, but in my opinion that just means there's never a dull moment in my family's household. We have eight people living in our three bedroom house right now. I was the oldest of two siblings before my family adopted my sixteen year old sister and now I am the oldest of three. Before my family adopted my sister we fostered for eight years. We have now stopped fostering however we currently have two kids living with us who we are very close with from previously fostering. I have to say I absolutely love having so many people in our house. It is always loud, in a good way, and something is always going on.

    My mom and dad not only decided to take in two extra kids but we also have about eight dogs at our house every week. We babysit dogs as a job and we have been doing so for almost nine years now. So, along with eight people constantly going in and out of our house we have about eight to ten dogs going in and out of our house. Chaos. But a beautiful chaos. I have grown to greatly appreciate a family that works so well together. A family that isn't all blood but has each other's backs. A mom that homeschools my younger siblings while working part time. My dad who helps my mom run the dog business while also taking each kid from place to place. To be honest, my dad hasn't had a job for two and a half years now. But God has always provided and my mom and dad have learned to balance their roles. 

    Our life isn't perfect. As the older sister I find myself driving around the siblings a lot. I find myself cleaning up our house as much as I can because my mom doesn't have the chance to get to it most of the time. We all fight and sometimes there's not a lot of food in the fridge due to the fact that there are five teenagers living in the house. However I choose to look on it with such a smile on my face. Because it is the biggest blessings to have a big family. Especially a big family that loves one another. So I will keep enjoying the craziness of my house every time I go back home. Because it is so beautiful.